


Twins’ Pizza Bitchfest

by Stealthtable



Series: Vibing and keeping it tight [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Food, Gen, Sibling Bonding, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stealthtable/pseuds/Stealthtable
Summary: Taako and Lup have a little venting session.
Relationships: Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Series: Vibing and keeping it tight [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1581217
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	Twins’ Pizza Bitchfest

Taako turned his key in the lock and shoved the door open. “Lup, I’m home,” he called tiredly. The smell of grease assailed his nostrils. At least Lup was as good as her word and brought home pizza. Today was far too much, and Taako just needed to get rid of his worries and relax.

“Get in here, this shit smells like it’ll kill us and feel good the whole time.” Lup pulled out a couple of plates from the cupboard. “We gotta be adults or are we stickin’ to the old ways?” she asked, her eyes taking in his slumped posture and general air of irritation.

“The old ways,” he said, cracking a smile. She got it. It was gonna be fine.

“Then shoo, change, I’ll set it up,” Lup replied briskly, carrying the plates to the living room and setting them down in the middle of the floor.

Taako headed off into his bedroom to change. “I want that fuzzy green blanket,” he threw over his shoulder. He emerged a few moments later in soft shorts and a worn t-shirt. “Alright, let’s do it.”

She gestured grandly to living room floor, where the plates sat alongside a couple empty jam jars, a Hot N’ Ready pizza from Fantasy Little Caesar’s, and the cheapest bottle of white zinfandel imaginable. “All is in readiness,” she intoned, bringing the smile back to Taako’s face. “Let us don the bitch capes.” She plunked down and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

“Hell yeah,” Taako answered, some of the enthusiasm coming back into his voice. He wrapped the green throw around his shoulders. “Damn, Lulu, what’d you spend, nine whole dollars on this spread?”

“Would you believe fuckin’ eleven? Inflation,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Fuckin’ inflation,” Taako snorted. He opened the box and pulled a slice of greasy pizza onto his plate. “So that assistant manager guy at work? Kravitz? Fuckin’ yelled at me today.”

“I’ll fight him,” Lup said matter of factly, unscrewing the top of the wine bottle and pouring herself a jarful. “You just want me to come into the shop, or we could get his address, like…”

Taako shook his head in amusement. “You probably shouldn’t fight him, I need this job. So here’s what happened, right? Mags and Merle came in to get sandwiches, and near as I can tell acted exactly like themselves, you know. Kravitz was pissed? They were just acting normal and being customers, not causing a bunch of trouble, just a little chaos, but since he was all pissy I rounded up the boys and got them sandwiched and on the road so things would settle down. And then he got all snappy with me about how they weren’t real customers ‘cause they didn’t buy ‘normal’ things, like news flash, sandwiches are normal now.”

“Oh, I’ll double fight him,” Lup asserted, passing a second jarful of wine to Taako. “That’s just fucking disrespectful is what that is.”

“Right? And after I handled it—like the boys were being a bit much, it happens, not everyone’s used to their shenanigans, but I had it under control and everybody got what they came for. It just wasn’t enough for this guy. He just stood there all big and kinda imposing and mad and bitched at me like it was my fault, you know how I hate that shit. Cheers.” Taako raised his jar and clinked it with Lup’s, then took a long sip of wine.

“Mmm.” Lup nodded, swallowing down a mouthful of pizza. “Cheers,” she echoed, before continuing. “That’s uncomf. Very uncool.”

“Yeah,” Taako agreed. He took a bite of pizza, chewing it thoughtfully. It was absolute garbage. It was perfectly nostalgic. It was a one-way ticket to heart disease. He swallowed. “On top of that, before all this I made him a sandwich and asked him to let me know how he liked it, just to be nice and let him be involved or whatever? And the bastard never fucking mentioned it again. Rude. But yeah, so that’s today. Hopefully he gets whatever’s up his ass outta there by tomorrow.”

Lup nodded. “Yeah, hopefully. Dude needs to eat a Fantasy Snickers.”

Taako laughed, feeling a little better already. “He sure as fuck does.” He took another sip of wine. “So what about you? What tales bring you to this fine bitchfest?”

“Only good stuff, wildly,” Lup answered. “You know Barry and me are official now?”

Taako chuckled. “Yeah I figured, on account of how you guys were Ghost-posing with the mannequins, like that seemed pretty obvious,” he teased.

Lup blushed happily. “We’ve studied together before, but like in the library, y’know? He was a guest in one of my classes a while back, answered my questions, we kinda just became friends, and then, well…” She gestured vaguely.

“Well,” Taako agreed, nodding sagely. “He seems nice, kinda cute in a soft way, I see it. He looks like he opens doors and stuff, like is he from here? He didn’t sound it.” He took another bite of pizza, ears tilted towards her in interest.

“East coast, he moved out here for grad school and stayed,” Lup said. “He’s pretty sweet, though, I think you guys’ll get along. You just gotta watch out for him playing his jokes, he’s a goofball.”

“Goofball’s fun, good trait to have,” Taako said. “Sweet’s also good, love that.”

“Love it, totally, and get this: he’s perfectly balanced. He’s respectful but he’s also a raunchy boy, not to get too—”

“No, please, gods, I got it,” Taako laughed. “I mean I know we’re always in each other’s business, but—”

“All I’m saying is get you a man who makes explicit consent sound like dirty talk, that’s it, there we go, little conversational bow on it,” Lup said with a giggle and a smirk.

“Okay that I’ll drink to,” Taako agreed. He raised his jar and clinked it with hers. “At least maybe I won’t have to get too wild with the shovel talk, huh?”

Lup snorted. “Right? I just hope the same holds true for your music man.”

“Me too,” Taako agreed. “I’ll find out soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Tanacetum for her stellar editing and encouragement as always!


End file.
